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ohnesaur

Man, that mom can be such a buzz kill.


Leftybassist9

I know, every once in a while she should get some zzzzzzzzs


ReubenZWeiner

Those things are expensive, she’s sitting on a small fortune


I_Might_Exist1

I've never purchased a sofa, are they really that expensive?


Undiscriminatingness

Good thing 'cuz the Power Company is going to be screwing them twice as hard next month. 👀


intimidatebunny

Some sleep? /s


Leftybassist9

It was to carry on the joke; they make a buzzing noise, which sounds like lots of zzzzzzzzzzs, which is another way of saying sleep


intimidatebunny

No i know sorry i was making a joke haha


space_audity

Bad vibes for sure


SchmittyMcbeerme

Mark Wahlburg would disagree.


MrAoki

C’mon! C’mon! Fee let! Fee let!


scungillipig

Sexercise!


All-_-memes

Bad viberators for sure


WeekendDrew

That’s the joke


Charming-Charlie-111

A rich man and a poor man are both buying anniversary gifts for their girlfriends. "What are you getting your girlfriend?" asks the poor man. The rich man says "I'm getting her a diamond ring and a Mercedes Benz." "Why both?" asks the poor man. The rich man says "That way if she doesn't like the ring she can still enjoy the Mercedes when she returns the ring." Then the rich man asks the poor man "What are YOU getting your girlfriend?" The poor man says "I'm buying her a pair of slippers and a dildo. That way if she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself."


It_is_Fries_No_Patat

: D


oxidized-bread

XD


LikitungEmpire

Britta


ezra_roni

Underrated comment


Slick_Spic

Fuck you, take my upvote.


Opposite_Toe_420

R/Angryupvote


iq-braggng-o-smrtass

Your son-in-law will probably konk out about halfway through the third quarter.


Waitsfornoone

At least he won't be drinking your beer and eating your food. Better than some son-in-laws already.


galacticbackhoe

Here son, eat! *dips vibrator in 7 layer dip*


foet66

I think I've seen that video


nd178

Sauce?


-PMMEYOURTITS-

No, dip.


foet66

Well, salsa really. Plus refried beans, sour cream, guac, cheese, black olives & green onions


ChefJordan24

Upvoted because no mention of ~~lettuce~~ Lettuce is a bruise on the face of earth. A fiend to all who would enjoy a good deli sandwich. Oh and fuck tomato too.


fullinversion82

Fuck lettuce. What do I look like? A rabbit?


galacticbackhoe

Now we're back to vibrators again. Is that you son?


fullinversion82

Daddy? Did you get your cigarettes? When are you coming home?


Wicked_Twist

r/notopbutok


cleverpseudonym1234

A fresh homegrown tomato is life-changing good. You realize it’s not that tomatoes suck, it’s that a delicious fruit exists and every grocery store in America is conspiring to sell a tasteless, squishy imitation of it.


ChefJordan24

Nope. Source: I'm from Mississippi, and I've had a fresh garden tomato with salt and pepper, mayonnaise, whatever. Gagged and nearly vomited.


cleverpseudonym1234

I respect that you’ve given them so many chances. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.


shitlord_god

That is a you problem. Not tomatoes.


SurpriseDragon

You must not be brown. Son in laws are fed to a point of bursting in Indian families. Getting drunk with you FiL and awkwardly laughing at his outdated jokes during a game are how dues are paid. That and grandchildren.


Pm-me-ur-happysauce

He probably smells bad too


halfandhalf1010

That was… oddly specific


BrickWallRoy

So the son in law is the Atlanta Falcons?


mei740

Third quarter is like a 5/7


saviorlito

Wait where do you get such a long lasting vibrator? My fiancé would like to know.


PeaceCorpsMwende

Good golly I told my husband this joke and he thought it was really funny. Must be a sport joke because he never laughs about my vibrator.


Amorski12

You must have a silencer on your vibrator


RuneLFox

Um acktually it's called a suppressor.


pinscher_circus

Or a "solvent trap" to avoid the feds. 🤣🤣🤣


nzodd

Man, I know that vaginas are naturally acidic but this is some straight out of *Alien* shit right here.


Amorski12

Whatever works for ya


LaserGecko

'MURICA!


Amorski12

Joe Biden said I'm coming for your Vibratirs'!!!


LaserGecko

Obummer's comin' for the Assault Magic Wands!


Litarider

The real joke ⬆️


Drakendan

I'm sure your husband and your vibrator had a buzz when he told him the joke afterwards.


Naive-Dragonfruit-15

Dad: I'm just getting buzzed with our son in law


pinscher_circus

Lol oh dear... I hope he's not one of those guys who are threatened by it! It's not a competition!


Marxbrosburner

Number 22, I feel like I’ve heard it recently.


IntelHDGraphics

[Bruh](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/search?q=daughter%20vibrator&restrict_sr=1&type=link)


BraveLittleTowster

It's non stop with this joke that isn't funny


tots4scott

I don't understand the drive to posting this terrible, overdone joke here for any other reason than reddit karma.


Mech_Lor

I might post it for the easy karma, like the people on here don't seem to notice


drkalmenius

Is it even a joke?


BloodyEjaculate

I dont know, the image of the dad with the vibrator is so pathetic and earnest that it made me laugh. the idea that his daughter is so pathetic he's willing to accommodate her just so he can feel proud. not that I condone reposting, though.


pilot-777

Didn’t even type it out and just copy and pasted [it](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ikhwo1/nsfw_a_mother_was_walking_down_the_hall_when_she/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)


VascMan

6yo crusty bruh


Kipsydaisy

You have. This joke makes me sad. Again.


AthenasChosen

I hate being that guy that complains about reposts but I've read this joke on here so many times it's crazy lol


keelanstuart

"watching the game with my *reposted joke*"


dukeofnes

Good ol' #207


Commercial-Sir3812

I hear his son in law is a real dildo.


Waitsfornoone

The daughter just calls him Dick.


IpNyurButt

When the mood is right he's a fucking asshole.


tempest_799

There’s no way! I swear I’ve heard this joke recently! By my count about 50 times now. Wow I sure do love not laughing at this joke every time I see it!


AfricanPlayboy

I’ve read this 10 times already.


SamanthaJaneyCake

And all that within the last month too!


Doctordementoid

Hey mom said it was my turn to repost this


WHITEBLADE___

Actually mom said "what are you doing?"


ScarabSkies

"So, ah, Hitachi, is it? Can I call you son?"


kotatitten

I think 35 and still living at home is the real punchline


linkgenesi6

The age goes up with the housing market


kotatitten

LOL that's fair! It's $800k+ for a standard family home where I am


not-now-dammit

Probably someplace with crazy high taxes on rich people and expansive social programs for poor people, so the poor people flock there and the working class gets strangled by the rich who are trying to maintain their status, and slowly everybody who isn’t dirt poor or extremely wealthy moves away because they can’t afford to live there… (EDIT: your downvotes just mean my comment hit “close to home”.)


EthericIFF

Wait, I thought you guys claimed that high taxes made rich people leave. Make up your mind.


not-now-dammit

Lol not this guy. I mean it entices the upper-middle class to leave, but the RICH RICH? They control the legislation and enforcement. They have armies of accountants and lawyers to help them navigate the legalities of the rules they and their friends made. They control the businesses that stifle wages and cut benefits so the tax increases “liberals” keep whining about don’t really affect their pockets. They rub elbows with politicians and organizations on the “opposite side” behind closed doors, because it’s ultimately always going to be the haves vs the have nots. The truly impoverished will always be easy to buy off via social programs. These are bought votes. It’s cheaper to fund welfare programs and point the finger at the poor to keep the working class motivated than it is to pay people what they’re worth and possibly have to give them a seat at the table of power. Yeah maybe the rich rich sometimes move for tax purposes, but it’s usually a political ploy of some kind. Edit: Keep people content in their poverty and they’ll never strive for more and challenge your place at the top.


EthericIFF

Well, I can't really disagree with any of what you wrote.


46151

Me neither because I didn’t read his rambling shit


not-now-dammit

I can ramble on occasion, but if you didn’t even read it you can’t make that distinction. Is the problem that you can’t actually read, or that your attention span is so severely lacking that you don’t have the capacity to comprehend and contemplate a thought that takes more than one or two sentences to convey?


46151

I read what interests me. Your babbling doesn’t interest me


not-now-dammit

Hey thanks man. I can definitely be opinionated, but I’m down to have a real discussion. A lot of what I say comes off really fucked at first, but I promise I have a semi-logical thought process and a good heart. Hope you have a great day.


Nuvenor

Sometimes downvotes just mean that you wrote something dumb.


ilikeeatingbrains

THAT WON'T STOP ME BECAUSE I CANT READ


not-now-dammit

Ok so where do all these people live? Lol… California or New York?


Nuvenor

I can only speak for the German housing market where it is near impossible to own a house or apartment within the cities. Erlangen is closest to me and extremely expensive since it has a university and lots of high level jobs. This makes EVERYTHING around here expensive. Even my city with a 30 Minutes drive to get to Erlangen. The other City, called Herzogenaurach, is even worse than mine. ​ Point being: Completely depends on where they are and why they are there. Many reasons that could inflate a housing price.


canttouchmypingas

Sometimes downvotes mean people got their feelings hurt.


NewRGI

"People are disagreeing with me so I must be right"


ilikeeatingbrains

Sometimes that is true. Preserving the status quo in the presence of clear and obvious malfunction is nothing new.


pat_the_bat_316

Housing prices go up in areas where people have money and want to live. It's really that simple.


not-now-dammit

On paper, with the premise of a true free-market economy this is the case. In reality it is *not* that simple.


kotatitten

I feel like your claim is subjective. What do you consider "crazy high" for taxes? What is included in an "expansive social program"? I'm neither dirt poor or insanely rich, and people like me are here to stay.. I just live in an expensive city


not-now-dammit

Yes, my notions of “crazy high” taxes and “expansive social programs” are subjective, the same as those notions are subjective to anyone else. Each person’s life situation is different - their income, the needs and wants they are trying to meet with said income, their diligence in managing their budget/growing their wealth. The idea that the government can set a flat rate for taxes or for minimum wage that actually affects everyone “equally” is laughable. You can force employers to pay everyone the same wage (or, say, a minimum wage) but in reality that minimum wage will give the employee a much lower quality of life in a high income area (how much did those stimmy checks help people in California and New York compared to those in Mississippi or West Virginia?). People who choose to have more children will not live as financially well as those who don’t have as many, or any. People with health issues will have to divert a higher percentage of their income to healthcare (healthcare could evolve into a separate topic, but humor me - the money has to come from somewhere. Governments don’t make wealth, they take and redistribute it). Increasing fines or fees or taxes (inventing new taxes) makes it more likely that the working person will no longer be able to meet their needs and wants. They will either move to someplace with better opportunities, or they will slowly be pushed farther towards the bottom of society. What I mean by expansive social systems is that many places take on social welfare programs that their communities do not actually generate enough extra revenue/wealth to support (especially not long-term). When people who could work to provide for themselves but are afforded the option to not work and receive a comparable standard of living, many people who do not want to put the effort into achieving anything more than the bottom rung of society will simply do that - not work and find a way to take any and every handout they can. What’s not subjective about my argument is that more and more wealth is being consolidated into fewer and fewer hands every year and these are some of the biggest ways it happens. The middle class is being extorted into “poverty” but the new global standard of poverty is radically different than it was even 30 years ago. True poverty has all but been eliminated, but the bottom is still the bottom, and as life gets better for those on top we should be doing our best to make sure it gets better for those on the bottom, as well. I think most people agree on that, where we differ is the path we think is best to get there.


kotatitten

I feel like you generalize people of low income status with a broad "lazy" portrayal. Rarely is that the case. There are so many factors that contribute to low socio-economic standards. Some people work their asses off and cannot get above the poverty line. Those people need help. People with disabilities or issues through no fault of their own need help. As a society, we should be taking care of everyone. You could just as easily be in an accident and unable to work tomorrow. Can you sustain your way if life with hefty medical bills and unable to work? Probably not. Yes, the point of taxes is to pay for public things like social assistance, but also roads, schools, healthcare, Infrastructure, and global investments. The country makes a LARGE part of their cash flow with investments.. your taxes are only a part of it. I live in a highly desirable city. That's why it's so expensive. No, the checks the govt gave out weren't a lot to me, but to someone that really needed it, it was rent and food. I was fortunate to not lose my job either. So many were not so lucky regardless of their wage the year before. We all have differing opinions on how public funds should be spent, so I am not going to argue and tell anyone that they are wrong. You, aren't.. we just have differing views. But that's also why we vote. The govt should be speaking for and doing what the majority of the people want. Some of the extra shit within politics that happens along the way (ugh..) different conversation all together.


not-now-dammit

There’s a difference between being lazy and not being willing to make lifestyle changes that yield better results. Plenty of people are willing to work hard, but depending on the choices they make, they are often making it harder or even impossible to overcome their initial circumstances through hard work alone. Just because someone is willing to work 23 hours a day doesn’t mean their work output is enough to support several children, a drug habit, and poor spending choices, and encouraging people to feel entitled to be taken care of regardless how poor their own life choices does not benefit society. It disincentivizes and cripples it. Yes, safety nets should exist for those who legitimately cannot provide for themselves, but those safety nets should incorporate as much or more education and guidance, rather than simply handouts. I was always poor growing up and thought so much that it was just the world beating us down, but now that I’m an adult I can more clearly see the choices that kept us poor. I’ve climbed my way out of living in a vehicle and couch-hopping to being solid middle class and I have poured blood, sweat and tears by the gallon into doing so. Have I put in more effort than I have been compensated for financially? Absolutely. Have the lessons this has taught me enabled me to help others learn and grow with me? Also absolutely. Are there people on the bottom who are simply lazy and good for nothing? Maybe… but they’re much much fewer in number than those simply lacking guidance and support, whose frustrations have led them to give up on their own success and to support policies that they hope will make the elite pay “their fair share” but really only serve to eliminate competition and throttle the working classes’ upward mobility.


yjvm2cb

I still don’t get how people do it like I’m from nyc which is some of the most expensive real estate out there but I had move out of my parents as soon as I turned 18 lol I couldn’t stand still being at home. At 35 I’d be damn near suicidal if I was still at my rents crib


Umang_Lunia

My life is a stand up comedy special then...


RedditsLittleSecret

How do your parents get along with your boyfriend?


noobvorld

They vibe.


not-bread

TBH the daughter sounds like a nightmare


corran450

Classic Reddit 'Joke' #2319, last post - *less than 4 weeks ago*


ValhallaShores

Y’all mind if I repost #2319 for our mandatory July posting?


corran450

Don't worry, mate... If someone else snipes you, you can just wait a week and post it again. Free Karma!


Maedhros-Maitimo

holy shit, it always confuses me when people in the comments say “repost” because I’ve never seen the joke before, but I have read this same joke atleast 15 fucking times in this month alone


King_CurlySpoon

This is a repost of one of the top posts of all time


CosmicLightning

So, if I build my fully automatic dido gun, I would be shooting my kids out at 200 mph? Nice...


ClownZSR

/u/repostsleuthbot


Krieghund

At the rate this gets reposted, dad is watching the game with his son-in-law every weekend.


TheTurquoiseTortilla

Gotta maintain a good relationship.


porkminer

Can we please retire this joke?


Strathman

The parents hear a humming coming from the laundry room and walk in together. The daughter who is stuck in the dryer says, “what are you doing step parents?”


AE_WILLIAMS

Wife: "Well, I don't much fancy him. He's a pain in the ass."


velvet_blade34

The guy wrote this must have been a genius mate


MrMeems

I feel like this is r/dadjokes material.


hovnohead

And like a good wife, she gave her husband a blowjob, and chipped her front teeth


grubhugger

At least it was beside him


Lui_Le_Diamond

I have literally seen this joke posted at least 5 times on this sub stop posting it.


Lui_Le_Diamond

In fact u/repostsleuthbot


Theta291

My man it's a joke they are meant to be retold. As long as it isn't within a month, according to rule 2.


Lui_Le_Diamond

But not to the same people over and over and over again


Theta291

Since it has a lot of upvotes, maybe it's not the same people seeing it. Or even if it is, maybe they like it. I've seen this joke before and I still upvoted because it still made me happy to see it again.


Lui_Le_Diamond

Judging by the comments, no


Theta291

Okay you're right the comments aren't great


SnooGoats3339

hi sorry i don’t get it can someone pls explain it to me?


amerkanische_Frosch

It’s not a pun or anything like that; the dad is just commenting wryly that since his daughter says the vibrator is the closest she will have to a real flesh and blood husband, the dad ought to start treating the vibrator as if it really was his son-in-law. Since a lot of guys like to watch sports together on TV, the dad invited his « son-in-law » to watch a sports match with him.


SnooGoats3339

ohhh i get it thanks for explaining!


jran1984

Ah, good old 82.


morgan423

Trivia fact. Most people think the jokes get their assigned numbers through some sort of chronological order. But that's not the case. The number is actually the average number of minutes between reposts.


jran1984

I'd upvote this twice if I could.


helmsmanfresh

FFS how many times is this going to get reposted?


-Dalzik-

Nice repost karma bot


Saurusboyz

This is the 4th time I've read this joke.


anchovyCreampie

Those are rookie numbers, gotta pump those up!


46151

Maybe it is time to leave this sub…leave Reddit…and pick up a book


noice_guy_2k03

GENIUS!!!


MkOs_

It's my turn to post this next week


red23dotme

Holy FUCK!! This same joke gets reposted so much it's untrue. Sorry, just noticed u/Genius_Mate is a karma farmer, I've added him to [the list](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Gwv2z5_jZH83Anw9Hm1mOe4iquzICO-iL9zDgWEX8eY/edit?usp=sharing).


jet_heller

Dear mods, this is "Long"? Really? Do you have such a low opinion of your readers that we can't make it through a short little thing like this without being warned it's more than like 2 words? Come on.


Attacker1983

When is it my turn to repost


gabrielleraul

This again.


Milan__

What is not a joke however, is that I've seen this joke reposted about 8 times this year.


jeddythree

Go outside bro.


ThePureBloodIdiot

lol


smit7zy

u/repostsleuthbot


ohbyerly

I should repost this joke too for a fun little karma boost


ItsFrit

This was posted like a week ago on the front page


Genius_Mate

Use the search feature. It’s been 4 months


Lime_GD

This is the third time I've seen this here. People can just repost it every few months and get upvotes


thekoggles

Repost number 8675309.


road_chewer

Mom says it’s my turn to post this next week


GreenColoured

What is this, the 8th time this same bjoke was reposted?


darrenwise883

The remote control is dying and I thought I borrow some batteries off of my son in law . Then I thought we'd put up that picture you've been want me to .


SlickNick74

Talk about a repost


mormontfux

Been on this sub so long, I've encountered the first repost I'm absolutely sick of.


freebirdls

Hey mom said it's my turn to post this!


OliverOOxenfree

This joke gets posted at least once a week


Shadoukoa

Wow, it's not like we're seeing this joke every single week on this sub. Can't believe that people still haven't heard of it.


Rafi_9

This is a repost from a popular joke someone posted before


Brendanlendan

Mom said it’s my turn to post this.


silvertaco123

I thought it was my turn to repost this


Zin_Arkanian

Repost


Really-Riley

This is one of the worst jokes I’ve ever read.


EccentricinJapan

This joke is older than Reddit.


MisterB78

It was time for this to get reposted yet again, huh?


Bohlsjong46920

When’s it my turn to post this joke?


chonerbrink

Repost. Repost. Repost...


FoxyCamoCat738

Get the polygraph


Ok-Orchid-5858

https://t.me/joinchat/CirtQiO1lEtkZjI5


The-dude-in-the-bush

A repost for sure, but a welcome one


The_Governor1988

The dad handle his daughters vibrator which is slightly weird haha


R_Harry_P

Haven't they ever heard of knocking? Or locks?


Squirelly2Monkey3

Thanks man. I needed this.


RedAngryCloud

Wait I don’t get it can someone explain?


musictea

oh this is an old joke I haven't heard in a good while


Danimaltastic

First sign of a good son-in-law is a firm handshake.


CaptSpazzo

I like the vibe of this joke


TotalitarianismPrism

Man I can’t wait for football season


RubyRod1

And then...and then he *sucked on it.*


Fergus_9

https://discord.gg/9qdETtReDf rapaziada discord novo com muitos packs Ayarla souza, maru karv, sophi carracini, anitta, mc mirela, mc princesa, clara aguilar, mulher melao, nivy stephan, grazi mourao etc (link nao expira)


Virtual-Worry4824

https://discord.gg/Je5kT2gE


jimph

as long as it was "beside" him !!


Natural-Passage-9767

https://discord.gg/corinnaleaks


Natural-Passage-9767

https://discord.gg/corinnaleaks