Bill is one weird dude
His daughter sounds like a fun time
and his wife too.
Dog sounds cool too.
That tap water sounds pretty rad.
I'd tap that water.
Zing er... splash
Those twins are probably pretty tight as well
Too soon my dude.
The whole Plamer family is wild.
She’s 10 years old
And on cocaine!
Yeah. It's weird you're here, Bill.
Almost as weird as my uncle Walt.
Huh. Last time I heard this one he included some motor oil from his car and was told he needs an oil change and to check on the valve on the 2nd cylinder. I think walmart's machine is crappy.
Maybe they bought the machine from walmart
Is the version called Mainstays or SuperTech?
It's an Edison
Isn’t that what you call a stolen Tesla?
That's the upgraded model.
I heard the same!
You don’t treat ringworm with antibiotics.
Beat me to it.
Fungi are biological, so antifungals are *technically* antibiotics. Also, please see my new line of antibiotics, now available in 9mm!
Antibiotics kill bacteria
I'm aware, just joking, pointing out the [*biotic*](https://www.etymonline.com/word/biotic) in [*antibiotic*](https://www.etymonline.com/word/antibiotic) means "life/pertaining to life", so with some strict interpretation, a fly swatter is an antibiotic
This is a rehash of a George Wallace (the comedian) joke from back in the 80s.
You go upstairs until you learn how to act.
Probably a repost of a rehash of a George Wallace joke.
most likely a rehash from a repost of a repost of a rehash of a repost of a rehash of a George Wallace joke.-
Definitely a repost. I read it within the last 2 weeks.
$10 for a urine sample to diagnose a medical condition. Are Walmart taking the piss?
No. You get it back after.
You can scrape it up on Isle 7's floors, or simply resell it to an employee wanting to pass a drug test....
Not with Bill's daughter's urine in there.
the employee won't know.-
Dammit dude! I failed that piss test and they said I'm pregnant! My wife is gonna be mad!
Ah, Theranos. The joke that scammed billions of dollars.
10/10 would laugh again
the guy that reposted this last week reposted it funnier
It's not the greatest but I tried. Two original jokes from me for your reading pleasure.
[Fairy, succubus, and a furry walk into a bar](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/bni493/a_succubus_a_furry_and_a_fairy_all_walked_into_a/)
[12 in a box](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/bpk3ei/12_in_a_box/)
Sorry man, maybe because it is 3 am, but you gonna have to explain these to me.
2nd one: The boy is deaf
1st one: Fairy wasn't no girly girl and surprised the bartender. This one got more likes, not sure why.
actual price was rolled back to $9.88
Ring worm is fungal an antibiotic will not work.
Welcome to Costco, I love you.
"Pleasured himself into the mixture." I don't blame the wife
Hey honey, could you come piss into this jar of dog shit?
The real punchline is thank you for shopping at Walmart lol
Damn... take the upvote
Can we stop calling jokes longer than two sentences “long”? It’s the sad dad joke pun oneliners that should be marked as “short”.
oneliners are the most common, ergo the Overton window have moved normal their way.-
That joke is ancient
So people pissing in Walmart? What's new?
Apparently the new thing is it's in a small cup, rather than a line down the aisle, ending with a pile of shit.
So, Theranos wasn't a scam after all.
"and then he pleasured himself into the mixture"
Had to reread that part
Should've just said "came into the mixture"
My only question is how did the man manage to get the urine samples from his wife and daughter?
This one has been overused my friend
“Your friend” did this?
An oldie, but a goodie.
“My friend”…sure bill.
I heard it before, but for a start up walk-in clinic
Idiocracy is getting closer
Change wife to daughter.
‘My friend’ - yeah ok then buddy
I like the Postal 2 medical kiosks better.
LOL! Reminds me of my last time at Wal Mart!
Why the Walmart bit after the punchline?
I think it was because the computer sounded so pissed at the dude and then calmly said "Thank you for shopping at Walmart." Or it was uneccesary and I'm just thinking about it too much.
I just think jokes should end at the punchline. It's like "The teacher fainted" thing
I can’t get over the fact there was a guy in Walmart with a bowl full of tap water, his wife and daughters piss and dog shit which he jerked off to
I heard his dog was on coke
If you think antibiotics and vitamins are the same thing, you owe the computer an apology.
My doctor’s all like, “you have an infection! You badly need to take antibiotics!”
And I’m like, thanks but no thanks doc, I don’t need anymore vitamins.
My essential oils work just fine, thank you very much.
Where does it say vitamins lol
While you're very wrong, it is true the antibiotics would do nothing because ringworm is fungal, not bacterial.
I thought it was a worm but I looked it up and yeah it is a fungus. Really misleading name lol
Wow! That was so damn funny, good job OP
I’m an idiot. Why is this funny
Everyone is praising this joke and I'm wondering if I'm a moron. What is the joke? There's a machine in Wal Mart that tests pee...here are examples of it doing a good job...what's the joke?
The joke is that when the man took his daughters, wife, and dogs urine samples to jack off with it and test it at the machine, the machine spewed out all different responses and was being mean about it.
Porn destroys another marriage.