T O P

This seems stupid, but am I loser or something when I never dated or been kissed(except by my mom possibly when I was a kid not on the lips)at 31 years old i;e a virgin?

This seems stupid, but am I loser or something when I never dated or been kissed(except by my mom possibly when I was a kid not on the lips)at 31 years old i;e a virgin?

chasse89

Nope. It only makes you a loser if you obsess about it and make it your only personality trait. Most people don't care if someone else has kissed/dated/had sex/etc, because everyone's life is different and it's none of our business. You're fine.


somedave

There is no objective definition of what a loser is, some would say so, others would not. I doubt anything good would come of calling you one.


DarkestJediOfAllTime

No. You are not stupid or a loser. Everyone walks a different path.


Quantumdrive95

Live the life you want, and youll find others there with you.


NoelloeN

No you're not.


Beleruh

Don't worry about that. There's lots of reasons why people don't have sex, even when they are adults and they aren't considered to be losers. I mean, look at priests or nuns, they have had high social status for thousands of years. Some people have (hidden or obvious) disabilities that makes it difficult for them to find a suitable partner, or they simply don't wish to have sex. Others just aren't that much into it and consider themselves asexual. Some would want to, but can't find the right partner, maybe because of insecurities or other things. Sex is not about competition (winners and losers) but about a relationship.


BookOfCrypto

As long as you don’t live in somebody’s basement with no source of income, playing call of duty all day eating cheetos...no you’re not a loser.


pavuchiamama

not a loser but if u want u can change it whenever u want


Putrid_Employment281

High functioning autism or social anxiety are likely. (Unless you are asexual or did it on purpose, such as for religious reasons.) It is very unusual.


Beleruh

It's not. Lots of people don't have had sexual relationships for a multitude of reasons. Usually they just don't talk openly about it, and why should they? It's nobody's business. ... How can you diagnose someone when you only have one single information? With sentences like that you can make people feel insecure and that absolutely doesn't help.


Putrid_Employment281

It is rare to meet an adult that doesn't either have a SO, have a date or have had recent dates (under non pandemic conditions), have fuck buddy(ies) or one night stands, broke up with/divorced SO, or is a widow/widower. (With the exception of nuns/monks/priests.)


HodorsMajesticUnit

The purpose of life is to mate, breed and kill your enemies. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oo9buo9Mtos](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oo9buo9Mtos) Sounds like you are 0/3.


TastySpermDispenser

Having sex does not determine whether you are a loser or not. Your inexperience with sexual relationships means you are missing VERY valuable skills that all adults should have, and it makes you poorly equipped for certain jobs and activities. For example, anything requiring you to form strong bonds with individuals and read body language. You just wont have the kind of practice that the rest of us have, and like any skill, practice is critical to getting better at it. # You are or are not a loser based on your behavior. Do you make this world a better place to live in? Then no, you are not a loser. Do you increase the misery people experience in the world? Then yes, you are a loser. Dont know which it is based on this post.


CosmicLightning

I save a lot of lives apparently. I think my cousin I saved from falling off a cliff twice. Saved another one of my cousins from drowning due to life jacket malfunction.(Old one) Recently saved a guys life by calling 911 as he was having a stroke. Then I got hit by a bad week of luck last week. Car got hit by semi, had to pay debt collection for medical bills of 1w74.86 or I'd be sent to court in 21 days. Then broke my phone and had to get a new one. Then sat in the boiling hotbsun for an hour waiting for a cab ride. Was late to work for once in my entire life by an hour. Hoping that life will get better. Just I always get people to look at me when I say I'm a x year old virgin like it's some kind of sin. Sorry, just no girls that I were interested in were available or sane in the head. I'm pretty content. Not necessarily happy with mh life but not really disappointed.


TastySpermDispenser

They are not looking at you like it's a sin. They are looking at you like you just told them you never learned how to tie your shoes. Even now, you blame *others* for your inability to find romantic partners. There are 7.5 billion people on earth. If you cant find a single one that qualifies as a consenting intimate partner, that is *your* lack of skill. You dont need that skill to be a good person, but many people will suspect incompetence when you tell them you have no experience with a skill that most people your age are quite good at.


Putrid_Employment281

Exactly.


PinkPropaganda

Are you a winner? Then you’re not a loser.


mph99999

It depends on the point of view, life has no purpose, on your point of view are you a loser? Is it important to not be one? A loser is someone who loses, but ultimately there's no winning, you can consider yourself a loser if you lose at achieving something, you can be a loser at a game, at getting a partner, at becoming rich, ultimately it depends on you, i would say that being a loser in general is feeling like being one. On the point of view of the majority of people out there, yes you are considered a loser, but does it matter?


GeorgGuomundrson

It depends. If you're not interested, then don't let anyone tell you there's anything wrong with that. If you are curious, then it's worth trying to fulfill the curiosity. If you are trying and it's not working, then it becomes a question of "why isn't it working?" It can take time & effort to figure out why it's not working. But back to your question -- a lot of us ask ourselves similar questions about similar things, but we should first ask the simpler questions leading to the main question. For example, in your case, one of the leading questions would be, "What is a loser?"


John_Wayfarer

Humans are social animals but there are other ways to have your needs met without having a human partner. There are some animals that have long lifespans and can be a lifelong companion, or people who have lots of friends, etc. Being a “loser” is if you are unhappy and do nothing about it.


Jackman230

President Obama didn’t kiss a girl until well into his 40s


Gutmach1960

Never been interested in another person, wanting to get close to them ? Maybe you are asexual.


CosmicLightning

Interested in a few girls but very rarely. And the ones I were interested in were taken by another man(married), or psychotic and on drugs(physically saw them on shit, wasn't pretty. Even found a group of people sucking their families blood because they thought they were vampires, was creepy as hell) Other girls I like don't exist in this world yet.


JoeAceJR20

Nobody cares. If they pretend to care, they are probably jealous of what you have. If your happy and a miserable person tells you to change, get a girlfriend, kiss someone, stuff like that, then you are right on track!


davidmiguelstudio

No, you're not a loser. Meeting a compatible person is largely a matter of luck, and then on top of that it's really helpful to 1) have your own shit together 2) be in good health/fitness 3) be fearless These 3 things are not necessary, but will make you that much more appealing. Focus on improving these, and it's WIN:WIN even if you don't find a mate, you will have your shit together and be in good health and be fearless.


CosmicLightning

It's hard to be fearless. I;e be yourself. I'm a furry and I would love to walk around all day wearing my tail, ears and wings but people would start thinking I'm a pedophile because of my weight.


davidmiguelstudio

Being a Practicing Furry will definitely limit your compatible matches. It is what it is. You're not a loser, you're just "niche"


QuarkySisko

Fuckit man, I'm guilty of looking at people and being cringed out at stuff like this, but my opinion is just that, fuck my opinion and please just be happy. Folks that come out with things like "you're fat so you must be a pedo" must seriously be messed up in the head, could you ever imagine yourself looking at a really thin person and just assuming what they do with their genitals? No! Because that would be clearly mental. I myself am on the path of mending myself from really bad bullying through all childhood, and I think one of my problems compared to other kids, is that I would actually believe the things that bullies would say.