I plead the fifth
By - SrGrafo
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Reddit’s video player works half as hard as I do
crimsaniac -> crimsaniac**o**
This dudes karma...
He is a national treasure and we will continue to reward him as long as he continues to so accurately depict us.
Remember when he needed like $200 monthly to straight up change his life? And now he's some kind of merchandising genius on Reddit.
Edit- to be clear, there is zero sarcasm here, I actually think it's incredible and worth celebrating that someone is able to make a living off of reddit comics alone, especially when he felt bad asking for so little to begin with.
I do not remember that. But I am happy for him.
Yes, exactly this
What??? That's real facts???
>The main goal of this patreon is to quit my job and be able to draw all day, if I get around 200$ a month I can do that (I dont spend much and live in a place where is not that expensive), while this goal is far, hope to little by little get closer, in any case you can have access to all the content here for just 1 dollar, thank you for passing by!
Last I heard, he was making enough from patreon alone to basically completely change his life and this is his full time thing now.
This is happy
You haven’t been a redditor for long, have you? /u/SrGrafo is a fucking treasure and for good reason.
0 ÷ 2 = 0
There is a video player? I thought that was an attempt at powerpoint
Yo, why is this one "EDIT" while the other ones are "Editado"? Did an adm make this one?
Porque es más importante
¿Por qué no los dos?
Because he didn't speak spanish in this one
because it’s in english
It is a "press back, not worth the trouble" notice
Oh so it's not just me.
My favorite part is when it drops the quality partway through for absolutely no good reason, so even a 15 second gif is a pixel mess.
**MY** *favourite*, is sudden infinite buffering, In the middle of the video. After the quality drop to 10x10 pixels of course...
**My** favorite is when the ad videos work perfectly but none of the others even load
My favorite is how they intentionally disabled standard features like inline video playing when you paste a link into somewhere like discord or facebook specifically to maximize traffic to reddit, attempting to use users as brute force advertisement to new people.
My favorite part is when the video works perfectly except for the most important part, then it stops and continues, skipping the most important part every single time no exceptions
My favourite part is when the video plays perfectly while displaying a message that says “unable to load video”.
My favorite part is when it doesn’t play videos at all, unless I’m on WiFi or am willing to wait 10 minutes.
My favorite part is how you get to watch the first second of the video three or four times over as it keeps restarting.
Or when the video is over and its litteraly inpossiblento watch it again or rewind a second because it froze at the end
Or when it always manages to freeze right at the exact moment you were watching for in the first place.
Or when the comments are about funny audio but there was no audio so you refresh it and there's no audio again but on the third time there's audio and then only loads one second
Or when you have to click on v_reddit or gyfcat to hear the audio on mobile. Which takes you to another screen
you guys get anything other than a blank black box??
What I'm gathering here is that y'all actually get it to load anything at all and I think that's beautiful 🥲
No love for the insanely high volume all the time?
This comic is actually a video.
I'm certain that I'm not the only one who had to go back and check.
He got us good, I have to say. Good laugh
Well played my friend, well played...
You're a tourist? Seen any nice tourist attractions you would recommend?
[Thanks for the recommendations, was very nice places](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/775060911781183498/851560268819202048/tourist.gif)
I was expecting the rats to cross in the background for the park too, hah!
Here for everyone speaking Spanish in the comments.
That's an unspoken rule of Reddit:
For exemple, just mentioning german people will ***fucking summon half of the German population of Reddit in your post***
Wtf did you do
Opened the floodgates
Nur die Hälfte?
Brot und Wasser?
I, too, use Duolingo for German
Ich bin eine Frau.
Und ich trage keine Schuhe
Ich bin ein Berliner!
*Did he just say he's a donut?*
Meine Mutter managt die Tankstelle!
Edit: how do I get 100+ upvotes for an Lol?
Your username sounds like a delicous menu item at a strange resteraunt 50km from any town
My username can be interpreted in many different ways. But tbh you aren’t wrong..
bier und brot
Volkswagen kartoffen schnell?
Auchtung das curve?
Sprechen sie deutsch?
The same goes for Dutch. Watch this:
Zou het werken denk je?
Ik denk het niet, Nederlanders doen niet aan burgerlijke gehoorzaamheid, wij komen alleen op dagen als het specifiek afgeraden is.
Of om te klagen over het weer, veel te warm al deze zomer.
G E K O L O N I S E E R D FRIKANDEL VAN DE APPIE IS ECHT EEN STRIJDEN HOOR JE DAT PAPA RUTTE
As someone who doesn't speak Dutch, I can only read these comments loud and aggressively.
As someone who does speak Dutch, it’s not very aggressive, but certainly very loud. And orange.
Z E G M A K K E R
J E B E N T A L G E K O L O N I S E E R D
G E K O L O N I S E E R D
How the fuc...
The same doesn't go for Danish... 🇩🇰
Mostly because the Danes don't even know Danish
Danish isn’t even a real language.
It's a pastry.
Sssst. Ik probeer te slapen.
Letterlijk niemand reageerde, zelf ik ben Belg dus het telt niet eens mee
Das stimmt gar nicht, es gibt bestimmt viel mehr von uns.
Hat jemand von einmar...hm hm einen Auftritt im Kommentar Bereich machen gesprochen.
Hat mich jemand gerufen? Ich könnte schwören mich hat jemand gerufen.
Meine Portion Sauerkraut ist schon bereit... Ich warte! 😁
Sie haben geläutet?
Bitte, Danke, gern geschehen!
Ich habe ein katze in mein hose!
Ich bin eine Katze!
Nein, nein, ich bin keine Katze.
Ich bin eine Hose😳
Das ist gar nicht so angenehm
hat jemand Deutsche gesagt?
Um es mit Obi-Wan Kenobis Worten in der deutschen Synchro zu sagen: Hallo, wie geht's denn so?
Ich mach schnitzel mit kartoffeln, bitte.
Hast du nicht mehr alle Tassen in Schrank
ich bin kein Deutscher, aber ich werde mich trotzdem dieser Gruppe anschließen.
Was? Stimmt doch garnicht, weit über die Hälfte!
Ach auch ein paar deutsche hier. Was ein Zufall
Sie haben nach mir gerufen?
As someone else pointed out [there's the time everyone commented in Spanish on AskReddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it/c0udtca) so it's just bound to happen now.
UHH I MEAN...
Hola! No yo hablo español. Un poco. Para hablo ingles. Me necesitas?
Careful, even the admins [speak Spanish](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it/c0udtca)
Mann kann auf die gleiche Weise Deutsche beschwören SrGrafo
You underestimate the amount of bilingualism on Reddit.
There's the old joke about "People who speak three languages are trilingual, people who speak two languages are bilingual, and people who speak one language are American."
As an American, I am fluent in only one language, but I am trying to learn Spanish.
I'm fluent in English and north Arkansas red neck.
I'm practically bilingual lol
"I only know two languages, English and Bad English."
No mas pantalones!
Donde es la biblioteca?
Me llamo t-bone la araña discoteca
The video player is amazing! It plays videos, I can pause, skip, mute. It plays the video when I press play. What's your problem?
Oh shit wait. I use a 3rd party app. Nvm...
`Rif is fun for Reddit` has a great video player
Yeah but I think there were legal issues
Agreed. No problems here.
Also has a very bare bones layout without fancy colors. I've tried all the popular reddit apps but always come back to reddit if fun.
Yeah, I love the layout. The dark mode is also great.
I wish it would integrate something for the Reddit image gallery. I don't know how it is for other people, but desktop Reddit's gallery is awful, and RIF brings up the browser for the gallery.
slide babeee (or Apollo both work well)
Apollo is the One True Reddit App. If Reddit breaks Apollo, they can eat ass, I’m keeping Apollo in the divorce.
For Android users I recommend sync
This. I really only browse on Apollo and so I have no clue what this grip about the media player is about.
Relay gang checking in.
Play store link : [Relay for reddit](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=free.reddit.news&referrer=utm_source%3DrelayFree%26utm_medium%3Dcomment%26utm_term%3Dorganic)
Promo Video : [Relay](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2sTb4GzEz4)
Not a shill, I just like the ~~stonk~~ app.
Been using Sync and RES for years and when I tried the reddit app and default homepage recently, my only thought is... How the fuck do people enjoy reddit as a stock experience? It's terrible. Tried forcing myself to like it for a week and just couldn't get over how inefficient it all is.
The new design is absolutely horrible. I guess newer users don't know any better, but it makes no sense to me.
Also, young punks, get off my lawn.
Nao ha problema eu consigo hablar bad spanish
I know one more:
I think it means have a nice day or something like that
Huehue, você chamou os brasileiros?
Eu nunca pensei que o Lopoi era BR...
Assim mesmo é que é caralho multilanguage in the streets in the night's
the worst thing is when i see a interesting video while scrolling and click on it because its to small, just to refuse to play after that
Help, I think Reddit is stuck in Spanish for me, how do I fix this?!
[Apparently a common problem.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it/)
this is peak reddit
Yes, before Obama made his AMA and then it became just too mainstream. It was already becoming mainstream obviously since Obama was doing an AMA. But it went just crazy overnight from "just" a huge geek community, to just litteraly anyone and on every news outlet. He tweeted about his about to start AMA, and Reddit was never the same after that.
I think you may have a point. I remember there was a tidal wave of traffic afterwards.
Is the thing on NoStupid Questions where everyone replied in Spanish?
Edit: Of course it is
Why did I not know of this until now. That thread is absolutely gold
Thankfully not NoStupidQuestions. It’s AskReddit, ie OnlyStupidQuestions
¿Esto fue hace 10 años? Jesucristo soy viejo
Delete the app, or if you're on PC, delete your account, and never go back to Reddit
Alternatively you could try to learn Spani-
Yes, seems like deleting is the only option.
You don’t like having spf instead of fps?
My spf is the fact I never go outside. I wanna watch videos, dag nabbit!
Seconds per frame not sunscreen
What’s wrong with it Grafo??
Also for non Spanish speakers: >!excuse me I do not speak English, I'm a tourist, sory!<
What makes a man turn neutral?
If I don't survive, tell my wife, hello
Lust for gold?
Or is he just born with a heart full of neutrality?
I don’t trust you.... (￣\^￣)
Authors of that abomination shall be tickled for all eternity in parallel simulations
Please enlighten us Grafo, what is wrong with it?
Por favor, cuéntanos tu opinión sobre et tema
Puedo hablar español también
Was? Das kann nicht sein. Wo sollen hier denn Deutsche herkommen? Gibt es die in freier Wildbahn überhaupt? Falschnachrichten! Lügenpresse!
Mein Kamerad ich versuche schon seit zwei Minuten Deutsche zu finden wo sind sie nur hingegangen?
Hier sind bestimmt keine. \*guckt unter den Teppich\* Nur Sauerkraut.
Afirmo y confirmo
So what other languages or people do you know about? Asking for no reason at all
I speak English as well as I speak French,(French being my mother tongue) and I do know the basics of Spanish.... But nothing much... And then I know like 2 words in german that could put me in jail
The two H's ?
(Die zwei H's ?)
This was the argentinianest thing i've seen in a while
Besides the terrible client side muxing, the horrible compression, the fact that it almost never hits full resolution even on the widest of fat internet pipes, and its constant need to buffer even if you force it to the lowest resolution video it has on offer while Twitch, YouTube, Vimeo, and Plex can all push content without issue?
Not a thing.
Honestly, only Twitter has a worse video player. I die a little any time someone puts an awesome video exclusively on v.reddit rather than spending 3 extra seconds to put it on Vimeo or YouTube where it would look worlds better and utilize a CDN that understands how to traffic video instead of whatever pile of warmed over garbage is underpinning v.reddit content delivery.
Thank you for your time, now I understand why.
You're very welcome. I work at a company that does online video content delivery and the Reddit video player honestly burns me up in that anything that bad can exist on the modern internet. It's a travesty.
Not to mention it still pauses the video when you decide to go full screen and rotate your phone.
[you don't speak english huh](https://imgur.com/vNmPzJf)
I thought you were a native Spanish speaker?
De hecho sí, es Argentino!
You mean the power point player that crashes all the time.
\-w what is y-
what's wrong with it? it lags. and when you go into the post it autoplays, even if you've just paused it on the previous screen. and then you go to pause it again but it was only loading and it paused by itself, but of course that means it's gotta play again.
and with audio, of course. unless you scroll a bit.
so nothing wrong with it really.
It's a sign of corporate bullshit that companies continue to attempt constant bullshit "improvements" nobody asked for.
That's because a new person was hired, who must make their presence worthy by making their mark on the company.
It's why your Reddits and Youtubes seem to change for no real reason every 5-7 years. Nobody asked for it, but a new boss took over and if there isn't some modicum of "improvement" then someone might ask why we need the bosses in the first place.
Same goes across the entire corporate world. As a vereran of corporate bullshit for more than 20 years, I've seen the cycle repeat enough times to call it a rule.
New bosses can't help but fix what isn't broken. If it isn't broken, then there'd be no need for a new boss. As time passes, there MUST be a need for a new boss, so changes are made to justify the existence of a new boss.
Reddit has a video player?
It's more of a sequential picture slideshow with occasional random sounds.
> sequential picture slideshow
Woah woah woah, it actually manages to get past the first frame for you?
[I plead the fif](https://youtu.be/ERm_WNxGs1U)
I am pretty sure the software developer who wrote this bad joke of a player is currently being indicted in The Hague for crimes against humanity.
Watching YouTube vids in high quality. Come to Reddit and it's like I'm on a dial up connection
Works just as great as the search option. Top notch stuff, they are.